A few minutes later, I climbed the stairs to find Ella, who's 8, and Sophia, our 5-year-old, wearing tank tops and tight yoga pants and jumping around gleefully in front of the television. I immediately recognized the familiar voice of one of the personal trainers from the television show "The Biggest Loser."
"Dad," Ella said, "We're doing Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred DVD. It's awesome."
Sophia said, "Yeah, we're going to have abs and get ripped like Jillian."
Jillian Michaels, a woman I have never met, managed to entertain and educate my kids when I was simply not in the mood. While I'm a far cry from being a neglectful parent, I realized we had subcontracted out our parental duties to a television set. The girls had fun and they got some much needed exercise, but still I wondered: Why do parents often feel guilty when they need help caring for their children?
When a child is born, parents inherit a unique level of responsibility. The child's survival needs become the priority at the expense of almost everything else. From emotional support to diaper changes to preventing injury, these tasks can be overwhelming.
In today's society, child-rearing support is not a luxury but a necessity. It can be frightening, but we need to learn to trust others with our kids. We expect that in our absence our children will be treated respectfully. Family, friends, babysitters and teachers can and do provide invaluable assistance with education, social skills and entertainment; things parents can't do 24/7.
One bad experience can taint a parent's view of a particular fill-in, and sometimes this is justified. But the reality remains that when we work, have a date with our spouse or take some time for ourselves, someone else needs to be in charge of our most precious resource. Part of our growth as parents is figuring out when to feed the rope and when to tug on it.
When we get stressed from the quotidian rigors of family life, our children won't suffer if our replacement is reasonable. In fact, they may thrive.
Kids need breaks from their parents just as we need breaks from them. New voices sometimes make the best teachers.
Tying shoes? I didn't teach them. Potty training? Tanya and I thank the daily routine and patience of our fabulous day care providers. Ella's second-grade teacher even taught me a few lessons about responsibility.
I don't condone strapping the little ones to the couch for three hours just because we're annoyed with them. But benefits can be found in unlikely sources. Tanya and I have always stressed the importance of health and fitness, yet it was Jillian Michaels who made it click.
