By Andrew Kensley






Wednesday, August 12, 2015

The Contract

I think I may have a future lawyer living in the Kensley house.

On our way home from camping this morning, the girls informed me that Ella had agreed to be Sophia's slave-slash-servant. As with most of their proclamations, I had no illusions that this grandiose situation would turn out to be any more than the usual short-lived play scenario.

Until Sophia insisted on a contract.

During our stop at Picnic Rock, a peaceful, popular play spot along the Poudre river as it snakes through the the tail end of the Poudre Canyon outside of Fort Collins, Sophia, who is 9, would have her older sister by 3 years, Ella, do something for her (get a towel, sunscreen her back, etc) and then turn to me with a toothy grin and mouth, "This is awesome!"

The 30-minute drive home was filled with discussion of contract terms, salary, and the like. I'm still not sure how this whole agreement came to be—other than the fact that Ella is happy to work for some extra cash—but I couldn't help being amazed at the ingenuity of it all. And so far, in the first couple of hours, they are taking it very seriously.

Once we got home, Sophia drew up a contract on Ella's laptop, complete with space for initials and signatures and a witness signature, and asked me to be the third party to ensure that the contract signing was legit and to help mediate so all parties were satisfied. Truly, this is the meat and potatoes of parenting that I LOVE.

Of course, Colorado Bar Association rules prohibit me from making this private arrangement public (and also, I think my kids might kill me if they knew about this blog post. If you see them, don't tell them you know...) but I would love to share a few of the stipulations, some of which are quite thoughtful:
  • Ella gets a 30-45 minute lunch break and 2 15-minutes breaks, one each in the AM and PM (I helped tweak this one; the original draft didn't include lunch. I said that amounted to slave labor)
  • Ella cannot be Sophia's servant while babysitting her
  • If Mom or Dad ask Sophia to do something, she is not allowed to transfer responsibility to Ella
  • And this is my favorite: "You can quit, but I can also fire you."
There is more, but I'm hesitant to share too much for fear of retribution from either party, even though I've clearly proven that I'm not above embarrassing either of them. And also, I'm worried they might really lawyer up and sue the shit out of me.

Oh, and as I finish typing this blog post, I hear Sophia from upstairs saying, "Ella, your break is over," right on time.

Move over Johnnie Cochran.