Teanage Pregnancy...Be Very Afraid

Ella and Sohpia, not pregnant
 Boynton Beach, Florida

On Christmas day, my daughters Ella and Sophia were pretending to be mothers to the new dolls they got that morning. Ella mentioned that she had become a mother at 8 years old.

"You can't have a baby at 8," my wife Tanya said. "That's impossible."

"OK, then I was 15," Ella said.

I breathed deeply to control my rocketing heart rate and oncoming nausea, then said, "Fifteen? There's no way you're getting pregnant when you're in high school. Don't even joke about it."

"We're just playing, Dad," Sophia, my 5-year-old said.

I wasn't amused. "I can't talk about this. You'll ruin your life if you have a baby before you finish college. Period."

Despite the challenges inherent in teenage pregnancy, I'm sure there are success stories out there. Nevertheless, I'll admit that no situation scares me more for my daughters than them having babies before they're ready. Just the thought of it gives me chills. Am I overreacting?

Family dynamics have changed considerably in the last century. The U.S Census Bureau website states that in 1900 the average American lived to be 47. In 2007, it was 77. When a woman was unlikely to live past her mid-40s, it made sense to have children earlier, whether she was ready emotionally or not. If she waited too long, she might not be alive to see her children grow up. And in a time when large families were necessary to help on the farm or with the family business, delaying motherhood and devoting time to professional pursuits was rare, even selfish.

Nowadays, it's no mystery that having a post-secondary education leads to more professional opportunities, higher earning potential and most importantly the ability to educate oneself. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, 57 percent of all college graduates in 2009 were female. Not surprisingly, then, almost 60 percent of American women are currently employed in the workforce (www.BLS.gov). Given the gender equality that now exists in the educational and professional arenas, as well as advances in reproductive medicine, women (and their partners) can afford to wait a few years to start a family.

For me, the issue is primarily biological. The frontal lobe of the brain, which is responsible for impulse control, judgment and assessing risk, is not fully developed until our early 20s. Any parent will tell you that if you can't control your drives or make heady choices, you're doomed to be eaten alive by the 24/7 job of parenting.

The divorce rate, consistently more than 50 percent tells us that most grown adults can't handle long-term relationships any better than irritable, immature, hormonal teenagers. Kids crave stability, which is not typical for a demographic that has to juggle school, work and finances, as well as the unforgiving minefields of peer pressure, dating and (gulp) sexuality.

Finally, if we don't trust our youth to control how much alcohol they can drink until they are 21, why isn't there a similar law prohibiting them from having babies before then?

I hope Ella got the point.