OMG...I Can Be Cool Too

A few weeks ago, Ella and Sophia were talking about the boys in their classes, and who had a crush on whom. I let my head drop into my hands and sighed, "Oh, my goodness."

Ella rolled her eyes. "Dad," she said, "You can say OMG like all the cool kids do."

I wasn't sure which affected me more, that my 8- and 6 year-old daughters were musing about boys or that I wasn't as cool as a third-grader. Ella's comment made me wonder: should parents strive to be cool?

As our children grow from infants to toddlers to elementary schoolers to adolescents, the milestones pass quickly. The physical changes don't bother me; I look forward to my children becoming more physically and mentally capable and to watching them mature into healthy adults. The social aspects of growing up, however, can be much more daunting.

Kids need guidance from their parents, but they don't always admit as much or accept it when it's offered.

So far, our daughters trust and confide in Tanya and me. But they're also years away from the stage in their lives when independence and defiance - necessary steps for becoming an adult - prevail over innocence and blind trust. We eventually will have to get creative to help our daughters identify and achieve their goals, and help them stay safe doing it. We'll need to somehow convey to Ella and Sophia that we understand the importance of fitting in, being liked and trying new things. We'll need then to see us as, for lack of a better word, "cool."

Don't get me wrong: I'm aware of the difference between cool and permissive. I've heard from various sources (including my own parents) that when teenagers say they want Mom or Dad to be their friend, they actually are asking for boundaries and that being too chummy with them can be dangerous. Yet, I've also learned valuable lessons from my own relationships and working with people of all generations that regardless of age, flexibility is an asset.

I'm in favor of discipline and boundaries. I also believe children, from preschool to high school, crave guidance, whether they admit it or not. But parents and children spend a lot of time together and both parties deserve to enjoy that time. As in any relationship with a spouse, a friend or a relative, sharing interests and compromising is key.