On the day of President Barack Obama’s visit to Fort Collins, I had to pick up Ella and Sophia after their dance class. The president had finished his speech, so we had to wait at Horsetooth and College for a few minutes until traffic opened up. Outside the Marriott on Horsetooth, we saw secret service agents and police cars out front, and no cars were being allowed through.
Ella, my fourth grader, asked, “Why do they block off all the streets?”
I explained about the many security concerns and added, “When you’re the president, you get to go where you want, when you want.”
“Then I definitely want to be president!” yelled Sophia, Ella’s 6-year-old sister.
I tried to explain that in a democracy like ours, the president doesn’t necessarily get everything he wants. Nevertheless, the rest of the ride home Ella and Sophia listed all the laws they would enact when they became president. I was encouraged by their vision, but also leery of their hunger for power, which led me to ask: What does having power really mean for children?
Great ideas often begin when a vision—be it a desire, need, or hope—takes root inside a person’s brain. From Edison’s light filament to Ghandi’s peaceful protests, the world’s great visionaries all required one common element to make their ideas work: power. Not the kind that corrupts, but the kind that drives us forward and makes people listen to what we have to say.
True power is more than the ability to control people or situations. It’s the feeling that comes with listening to our inner voice. Sometimes, paradoxically, we need to give it up in order to retain it. (You parents know what I’m talking about.)
We’re certainly not born with it, and some adults never truly gain it. But if we give our children the proper tools—love, trust, safety, self-esteem—I suspect they’ll be more likely to develop their own personal power and use it wisely.
Sophia said that if she were president, she would make smoking illegal everywhere. Ella said she would make a law against wars. I smiled at their suggestions and refrained from offering a dour commentary on how unrealistic they were. After all, the first step toward gaining power is desire.
The upcoming election is, as usual, bringing out the worst in all of us. And with the recent tragedy in the Aurora movie theater and the 11th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks fresh in our minds, the notions of power and its sometimes heinous repercussions are inescapable. In our society, power tends to represent freedom, but in the wrong hands can morph into its evil twin: suppression. As a parent, I’m acutely aware that sometimes, it takes more energy not to wield it.
Perhaps the trick to using one’s power responsibly is to acquire it early in life. If children can safely learn how to gain it, when to use it and when to give it up, maybe they won’t be so obsessed with it as adults.
