Last week, Sophia and I ran into one of her babysitters, who excitedly informed us that she was applying for a job at the police academy. Once my 7-year-old realized what that meant, she wrapped her favorite babysitter in a tight hug.
“Cayley won’t babysit us anymore?” Sophia asked me afterward.
“Probably not,” I said. “But in two years when Ella turns 12, she’ll be allowed to stay home alone with you.” I became slightly anxious at this prospect, so I tried to lighten the mood. “But I have a feeling that as soon as we leave, Ella will say, ‘Let’s party!’”
“Yeah, I’ll probably have to tell Ella to get to bed,” Sophia said. “Maybe you should get security cameras.”
Sophia’s suggestion made me wonder about how hard it is to trust our children — and the people who watch them. And regarding the inevitable transition away from babysitters and into independence, the question remains: Is there a right time, or a wrong one, to leave our kids to their own devices?
Babysitters have always played a role in allowing Tanya and me to have some time alone. Ella and Sophia actually get excited about spending time with their young, energetic playmates, and that has helped us feel confident leaving them. We’re fortunate to have had a number of responsible and reliable sitters during the years.
But the older our kids get, the more responsible they will have to become. Training them to manage alone at home is a step in that direction. According to the Colorado Department of Human Services, a child must be 12 years old to be legally left alone at home. This standard is based on the state Child Labor Law, which deems 12 as the minimum age for employment. The website (Colorado.gov) also justifiably points out that children’s maturity levels vary widely, so parents should use good judgment when making the decision on whether to hire someone or trust their kids alone.
Teenagers and college-age students comprise the typical babysitting corps — people to whom we entrust our vulnerable children — yet they also constitute a demographic notorious for making unsound decisions. While most parents would prefer to have their kids in the care of another adult or family member, that isn’t always possible. So we parents need to do our part.
We could certainly ease the transition by teaching our kids, from a young age, to police themselves. Obviously, we should follow the age guidelines set by the Colorado DHS, impose firm rules, and let them gradually ease into their unsupervised time, as well as check in periodically. And I suspect giving some kind of reward for success also makes sense. The time alone will surely build confidence.
Emergencies do happen, but the remote statistical chance of calamity opens the door for our kids to develop necessary life skills. We shouldn’t invite disaster, but let’s be realistic: It can happen to anyone at any time, regardless of who’s in charge. There must be a middle ground.
And Ella and Sophia can always call Officer Cayley.
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