Don't take your kids to Vegas. I'm begging you.
On monday two buddies and I took our second annual 24-hour trip to the World Capital of Waste and Excess. We gambled and drank and basically insulted each other for about a day, came back to our pedestrian lives with lighter pockets and hilarious memories. No one ended up in jail, or stuck on the roof of Caesar's or with a balance of less than $100 in a retirement account. In other words, we're Sin City lightweights.
As with any tourist destination, crowds are inevitable. Thousands of people, all shapes and sizes and colors populate the streets and casinos, restaurants and bars. Good for the economy, I get it. But I was aghast at how many children I saw walking up and down Las Vegas Boulevard and around hotel lobbies. This is America, you say, and you have a right to take your kids anywhere you want, right?
I totally agree, if you don't mind your 4-year-old (or worse: pre-teens) exposed to driving billboards with pictures of 90% naked women advertising "Hot Babes Direct to You." Or those annoying street guys snapping cards with pictures and phone numbers of escorts who are just dying to meet you. Or people sauntering up and down the sidewalks uttering the F-word every 5 seconds. (Oh wait a minute, that might have been us. My bad.)
The only way it would be at all appropriate to take your kids to Vegas would be to immediately get a cab from the airport to a hotel off the strip and stay there without ever leaving the room, unless its to go the pool, and even that's not a good idea. In Vegas a woman's bathing suit is likely to contain less material than a hair tie. (Free advice: stay far, far away from the Hard Rock Hotel. Trust me.) Get a 3-bedroom suite at the Westin. Eat only via room service. Have them wear their iPods non-stop. Go on a Monday and Tuesday in November. No shows, no gambling, no restaurants, no walking outdoors, no TV, no reading pamphlets.
Or save for a year, leave the kids at home, and relive the good old days.
I know, right? We were in Lake Tahoe, at the (oddly enough) Hard Rock Cafe in a hotel there, hardly the same atmosphere outside as Las Vegas...yet i was put off by the parents who had their kids in tow, errrrr whaaaaa? Scuse meh? Oh can't you just hear those marketing directors for the gambling dens..."hey guys, lets get the "guilt ridden" parents by telling them its such good fun for the kiddies here in the land of gambling, drinking, and all dat, and then throw in some space for high priced video games and junk food". I mean, its all about the profit centers right?
ReplyDeleteHave Been strolling through TCW past/missed articles; great reading. p.s., couldn't resist adding here...the non-robot proof letters were rkctits....how 'propriate.