The Power of Language

A few weeks ago, Sophia and Ella asked if I could make them a Caesar salad. I told them I'd have to buy all the ingredients. Sophia, my kindergartner, said, "Don't forget the futons!"

When I corrected her, she said, "Dad, I know how to say crouton, I just like calling them futons."

"You can say anything you want," I replied.

"Well, except bad words."

Sophia's comment made me think about how our language affects others, especially our children. We try to avoid cursing when the kids are around, but sometimes it happens anyway. We strive to be polite but don't always succeed. When I slip up, my kids are quick to point it out to me. Do I, as the parent, have to explain myself? Should we isolate our kids from foul language at every turn?

The FCC considers seven words (you can probably guess what they are) as inappropriate to say on the radio. Of course, there are innumerable offensive things that can be said in various contexts. Most people agree on what shouldn't be said in front of kids, but cultures and customs differ. What might be offensive to one might not be to another.

Sophia and Ella, her 8-year-old sister, know that my wife and I are not fond of the words "hate" and "stupid," yet I admit to saying them every now and then. My daughters are diligent in pointing out these instances as if they were the parents. I don't like being corrected by my kids, but I, too, have to be accountable.

Out in the community, it's harder to monitor what our little ones are exposed to. Children often overhear their parents' interactions with their peers and conversations between adult strangers, two situations where language that is inappropriate for children can pervade. Yes, we are the role models, and we should be mindful if kids are around. I'm in favor of being careful, but hearing a curse word here and there isn't necessarily going to turn our kids into potty-mouthed sailors. If they happen to be exposed to inappropriate language, we should at least educate them on how to choose for themselves.

Eventually, my daughters will be adults. They'll hear and see offensive words and sights and will most likely utter a bad word or two themselves (maybe even in my direction). At some point, they will probably offend someone and be reprimanded for it. Hopefully, they'll learn from those experiences. I hope they won't be judged solely on the occasional slip-up because we all have them.

When Ella and Sophia were younger, I was very vigilant about what I said. I'm still careful about it, but not obsessive. Bad words slip out every now and then, mostly when I smash my thumb with a hammer or break a glass, which happens quite frequently. It's important to be polite, I tell them, but language has only as much power as we provide it.