By Andrew Kensley






Thursday, January 2, 2014

As it Should Be

Before going to sleep on New Years Eve, I asked Ella if she had a resolution for 2014. She asked what a resolution was, and I explained that it was an activity or habit you decide to change or start anew, or basically any promise one intends to keep beginning on January 1st and continuing throughout the new calendar year.

After a contemplative moment she replied, "What if everything is just as it should be?"

I hadn't thought that was even possible. "Uh," I stammered, "I guess you don't have to resolve to do anything if you don't want to."

"Then I resolve to keep everything just as it is," she said.

My life is pretty darn good. I'm healthy, have a great family and a lot of good friends, a stable job, and I generally enjoy myself everyday. But my existence is far from stress-free. I worry about a variety of things, from my kids' well-being to finances to work, and I'm probably hardest on myself when it comes to personality traits that frown at me in the mirror on a daily basis. In other words, I'm certain I will always have things to work on, changes to make, and new challenges to seek and conquer and, sometimes, at which to fail.

So you can imagine my envy at Ella's honest and nonchalant assessment of her immediate future. No fear, no doubt, no contemplation at how awful things are and how much better they will be if we would just (fill in the blank).

And while the life of a ten-year-old with a loving family, a good head on her shoulders and a safe environment is no match for the unexpected challenges of adult life, there's certainly something to be said for accepting that "everything is just as it should be."

In a religious or spiritual sense, and owing to the inevitability of the universe's karmic power, I would offer that everything is always as it should be, good or bad (depending on your perspective). Sure, that's easy to say when you've got it good. And there's not much I can say to those who don't, to convince them of that; or what I would want to hear from others should my situation suddenly turn. But the universe, from what I believe, doesn't favor one entity or another when it comes to making sure that balance is achieved. The universe, God, whatever you call it, works with all living things to make everything is the way it's supposed to be.

I'm not talking about preordained fate. In a moving, breathing world that is constantly changing based on what we do, we create our own futures and help to shape the futures of those around us. We are free to choose, and must always live with the consequences that happen...exactly as they are ordered, depending on our actions and non-actions.

Good and bad are mere semantic tags given by us sentient homo sapien sapiens—oh, we're just SOOOOO damn smart, we humans—to make us feel important. But whether we happen to be in the path of a drunk driver skidding out of control, or just far enough away from the guy who is, I'm sure that everything is as it should be to that invisible, incomprehensible, uncontrollable master of everything. (Personally, I'll go with the nebulous yet potent "energy.")

I'm not advocating the abandonment of new endeavors and self-improvements. In fact, I have already vowed to undertake many in both categories: be in the moment, breathe more, practice more yoga, listen more attentively, and secure an agent for at least one book this year. But perhaps we should all take a moment to step back and ask: Are things really that bad, or is everything exactly as it should be? And shouldn't we strive to accept that?

Happy New Year! Make 2014 great.