Getting Paid???

Just got an offer to write a couple of articles for a local magazine...and get paid for it. I will most certainly make this opportunity count. I'm excited and a little nervous but I've never been one to back down from a new experience. The more I write, the more I enjoy it, and the more I want to improve my craft. And the best part? Who knows what the future will hold.

After giving a talk to Ella's third grade class about writing, I realized for myself that patience is so important when it comes to devoting oneself to a new endeavor. If I'm preaching it to a bunch of 9-year-olds, I better have some myself. And when you're patient, good things happen.

Well, I'm off to research women's beauty products.

Yes, you read it right.

OMG...I Can Be Cool Too

A few weeks ago, Ella and Sophia were talking about the boys in their classes, and who had a crush on whom. I let my head drop into my hands and sighed, "Oh, my goodness."

Ella rolled her eyes. "Dad," she said, "You can say OMG like all the cool kids do."

I wasn't sure which affected me more, that my 8- and 6 year-old daughters were musing about boys or that I wasn't as cool as a third-grader. Ella's comment made me wonder: should parents strive to be cool?

As our children grow from infants to toddlers to elementary schoolers to adolescents, the milestones pass quickly. The physical changes don't bother me; I look forward to my children becoming more physically and mentally capable and to watching them mature into healthy adults. The social aspects of growing up, however, can be much more daunting.

Kids need guidance from their parents, but they don't always admit as much or accept it when it's offered.

So far, our daughters trust and confide in Tanya and me. But they're also years away from the stage in their lives when independence and defiance - necessary steps for becoming an adult - prevail over innocence and blind trust. We eventually will have to get creative to help our daughters identify and achieve their goals, and help them stay safe doing it. We'll need to somehow convey to Ella and Sophia that we understand the importance of fitting in, being liked and trying new things. We'll need then to see us as, for lack of a better word, "cool."

Don't get me wrong: I'm aware of the difference between cool and permissive. I've heard from various sources (including my own parents) that when teenagers say they want Mom or Dad to be their friend, they actually are asking for boundaries and that being too chummy with them can be dangerous. Yet, I've also learned valuable lessons from my own relationships and working with people of all generations that regardless of age, flexibility is an asset.

I'm in favor of discipline and boundaries. I also believe children, from preschool to high school, crave guidance, whether they admit it or not. But parents and children spend a lot of time together and both parties deserve to enjoy that time. As in any relationship with a spouse, a friend or a relative, sharing interests and compromising is key.

Credit Cards in Kindergarten?

I routinely receive dozens of credit card applications in the mail. Recently, one read: "Dear Miss Sophia Kensley: Since you are a valued customer...." I'm still not sure how my 6-year-old was selected for the offer.

"What would you do with a credit card if you had one?" I asked her.

"I don't know. Play with it, probably," Sophia mused.

Indeed, I said, that's what many adults do. After all, these handy pieces of plastic fit in a pocket and can be used to buy just about anything, including things we can't afford and rarely use. But could they perhaps serve as valuable learning tools for personal finance management? Do kids need credit cards?

According to USdebtclock. org, our national debt is currently more than $15.5 trillion, which equates to about $50,000 per citizen. The responsibility of paying it down sits squarely on the shoulders of Sophia and her 8-year-old sister, Ella, their schoolmates, and, at this rate, their children and grandchildren. Given this burden, it's my job as a parent to prepare them for a lifetime of fiscal responsibility.

A friend of mine who works in the financial industry has suggested to me that living within one's means is one of the most important things for parents to teach their children. In other words, don't spend what you don't have. For every $100 earned, he recommends saving $10 and leaving the rest available for spending. That way, there will always be something around later, whether in tough times, retirement or to make a substantial purchase. But planning for the future is not organic; it must be taught.

Most financial transactions now take place electronically, making credit and debit cards vital. This is convenient but it deprives youngsters of an appreciation for the value of money. Spending $50 for dinner looks identical to booking an all-inclusive vacation or buying a candy bar. Children need a way to learn the basics of economics.

Tanya and I help our daughters count the coins in their piggy banks. We require them to save large portions of birthday and holiday money. They are free to use their “spending money” on whatever they choose, on the condition they have to live with their purchase. But there are still the issues of credit, debt and interest, which I don’t expect my elementary school-age children to grasp. Heretical as it sounds, credit cards may be the solution.

Teenagers with income can apply for and obtain credit cards, with parents as cosigners and with low spending limits. If they pay their bill in full every month, thereby avoiding the dreaded finance charge, they keep the card and build a high credit rating. This could help in time with paying for a home or higher education, what my friend calls “good debt.” And most importantly, they develop responsible habits and skills that will help them throughout their lives.

Don’t worry, I didn’t fill out that Visa application for my kindergartner. But rest assured, I’m keeping it handy.