Responsibility Varies with Each Child

A few weeks ago, my wife Tanya cut two of her fingers and needed stitches. I was at work, so she enlisted the help of our neighbors and Ella. Without tears or panic, our 8-year-old listened to my instructions on the phone and comforted her 5-year-old sister, Sophia, who was understandably traumatized.

That night, Tanya thanked Ella for her actions. "I'm very proud of you for helping me and Sophia when I cut my fingers," Tanya said. "I can't be-lieve you weren't even scared!"

Ella replied, "Was I supposed to be?"

Tanya and I shared a moment of pride and wonder. Ella's demeanor got me thinking about how we train our children in emergencies. Should we count on our young children to act in stressful situations, or do we risk creating more trauma by giving them too much responsibility?

Amid the unavoidable challenges of life, from medical emergencies to legal woes to home maintenance and beyond, staying grounded is vital. When we react calmly to stress, we improve our chances of success. It's hard enough for many adults. Now imagine if you are too short to reach the phone.

We trust experts like firefighters, doctors and pilots because they train for these specific situations. But even before a person can perfect their trade, they must possess the rare ability to block out the unnecessary details, maintain their own body and come up with a plan of action. Some people are simply not cut out for that kind of role.

Sophia's only 5 and is more emotionally volatile than her sister. At 8, Ella seems comfortable being trusted to call for help or otherwise assist her parents if the situation required it. Nevertheless, my gut still tells me that heaping too much responsibility on my soon-to-be-third-grader could be more pressure than she's equipped to handle.

What if she's the type of person who thrives under stress, as she's already proven once? Like a typical parent, I want to protect my children from possible threats to their well-being. However, I want to be careful not to protect them from threats that don't exist.

Safety comes first, and in emergencies disaster preparedness is vital. The more hands you have to help, the better. Calling 911 or a neighbor, getting out of the house and basic first aid are all things that can be done by young kids to alleviate the stress of a situation, as long as they keep their wits about them. The trick is knowing which kids keep their wits, and which ones don't.

The stitches have been removed, our vacation started as planned the next day and went off without a hitch, and the offending implement is tucked away in the drawer. The kids know not to touch the slicer, but just in case, we've reviewed basic first aid. Hopefully, Ella and Sophia won't have to use it.