The Uniqueness of Grandparents

Some grandparents live across the street, provide regular daycare, and in some cases, act as secondary parents. Others live a long plane ride or car ride away, and only see their precious grandkids a few times a year. Then there are the few who rarely or never connect with their grandkids, for whatever reason.

Arthur and Donna (my parents), and Ella and Sophia on a hike

Thankfully, Ella and Sophia have four living grandparents, all of whom are unique, both as individuals and in the framework of their relationships with their grandchildren. Parenting philosophies are bound to differ (let's just say we all have our quirks) and maybe even clash once in a while, but one thing remains clear: our kids love each one of them in a special way.

I've always known my dad to be loving, genuine, and wholly devoted to his family. But this past week, I figured out where he fits on the "special" spectrum.

He loves to listen to music and make sounds that resemble the words and notes being played in the background. He also enjoys moving around in a quasi-rhythmic fashion, flailing his limbs in various unrelated syncopating meters. But as far as singing and dancing go...let's just say he's a great pharmacist.

And to my kids, he's downright hysterical.

On his and my mother's first night here last week, we introduced my dad to the Wii. He has a penchant for silliness, and an active video game was a perfect opportunity for unexpected laughs.

He liked the Sports game, especially baseball, and delivered his best Satchel Paige windup impersonation on every pitch. Thankfully, he didn't tear his rotator cuff or pull a hammy. To everyone's surprise, except maybe his own, he asked to play Just Dance.

Tanya, my mom and I were cleaning up after dinner when Ella raced up the stairs from the basement.  "Zaidy won!" she yelled.

We all stood there mouths agape, waiting for her to follow up her proclamation with a qualifier. "Won what?" I asked.

"Zaidy won at Just Dance! He beat Sophia at 'You don't know you're beautiful!'"

(Warning: this video may be painful to watch. Parental—and grandparental—guidance suggested. And, for the record, I think my dad is a great sport for letting me post it.)

The next morning at breakfast, I said, "Dad, I didn't know you could do that."

"There are a lot of things you don't know about the Old Guy," he replied.

Yikes. I wasn't sure how deep I wanted to dig into that cave.

"Zaidy is weird. But he's fun," the kids told me later, and reiterated many times during the week.

Spending time with the grandparents is fun and important and interesting and tiring and, like everything else, has its limitations. Clearly none of us is perfect. The sooner we all come to understand that, the better. Because the relationship between grandparent and child will always stand on its own, independent of any emotions between adults.

My father Arthur, and Tanya

My dad and I share some traits (we are, after all, father and son) but we're very different in many ways. We sometimes argue, and I'm pretty sure neither of us is on the cusp of adopting the other's point of view. Nevertheless, when my kids tell my dad he's weird, I smile inside. They often tell me the same thing.

For Ella and Sophia, time with their grandparents is infrequent. Consequently, when it happens, it's memorable. As for now, they don't know how beautiful this relationship really is. But someday they will.

Ella, Zaidy and Sophia